How Much Does Your Pleasure Cost Others?

When we do not take responsibility for being the best versions of ourselves, we often move toward pleasure to mitigate the pain.  Now, pleasure is not bad -- it’s great, actually.  But pleasure always has a price.  Sometimes the price is worth paying, but, when we are using pleasure to mitigate pain, we often pay more than we acknowledge ourselves to be losing for our pleasure.  Not only that, but we inflict a cost on others, sometimes without even being aware we are doing it.

A primary concept in today’s broadcast is that good character understands and respects the price of pleasure.  Furthermore, good character qualities actually produce emotional, intellectual, spiritual, relational, and physical benefits.  Consider the price of an addiction to yourself and to others versus the cost and eventual benefits of sobriety.  Becoming a sober-minded person also has a cost, but, in the long-run, the gain is larger and the cost (for you and for others) less than that of continuing to be dominated by addiction as a way to deal with pain.

Pain is real.  Pain management, when done morally, is the best antidote and possible cure for pain in this living world.  It isn’t easy, though; that’s the problem.  What do you need to do to deal with your pain?  How do you do that?  And what is your alternative?  How much does it cost you to constantly be wanting to feel good, to need pleasure and propping up at all times?  Pain is real, but is your antidote too costly for you and others?  Consistently moving toward pleasure, especially pleasure without work, causes you to be a deductor rather than a contributor in others’ lives.  Do you show up at the party wanting only to receive, or do you show up expecting to contribute in some way to the overall positive experience that people have there?  We can even have this attitude about salvation, appreciating Jesus’s death and resurrection for our salvation but not doing much to help others experience His love since our salvation is covered.

Cinthia read II Timothy 3:1-5 from the New Living Translation, which includes a lengthy list of disturbing character traits that would become prevalent in the last days, and an encouragement not to invest our time and energy in relationships with people who primarily influence us toward those things.  Human beings influence one another.  We teach each other by example, give license to each other by what we do.  We learn from each other all the time.  In the modern era we tend to reject the idea that we each have a responsibility to society, confusing it with codependency or carrying the world on our shoulders.  But we each have influence, and we each have a responsibility to own that influence.  We all lead and follow, teach and are taught, even when we strive not to do one of those things.  Doing any of them well requires humility.  Your life really matters.  Even if you don’t want to be seen, that sends a message.  Bad behaviors weaken the person we were meant to be.  You are a once-occurring person in the history of the universe, and you are responsible for the version of yourself that you choose to be and for the ways that influences those around you. 

Discernment is important, and we can learn to be more discerning.  Discernment involves learning to see what is beneath the surface, judging well, seeing past illusions into the reality that underlies them.  It involves seeing things that are easy to overlook, things that appear to be inconsequential.  It also involves knowing when to ignore the loudest part of what is happening when that part is only a distraction from more important pieces.  Discernment is considered a virtue in Christianity.  It gives us the ability to identify the voice of Wisdom and follow her at any cost.  James 1:5 says that, if anyone lacks wisdom, he should ask God.  The Holy Spirit can give us wisdom.  One way to practice discernment is to pay attention to information from all three “brains:” the head, the heart, and the gut.  The head helps us with factual information, logic, making sense of things.  The heart experiences feelings, which give us information our brains may not have noticed and help us sort out levels of importance.  The gut can alert us to warning signals of which the head and heart were not aware.  Discernment requires time; it works best when you do not rush into judgments. 

Remember, discernment helps us recognize wisdom so we can follow her regardless of the cost.  Crave discernment.  Take your time, and don’t rush into judgment, even of yourself.  Ask God for wisdom, and let your Creator help you to become the version of yourself that He meant you to be.