Journey to Fulfill Your Destiny: An Interview with Antoine Andrews

Today Cinthia interviews Antoine Anderson, a church planter (2ten.church in southern Phoenix), men’s life coach, husband, father, and author of the book Journey to Fulfill Your Destiny (https://www.amazon.com/s?k=journey+to+fulfill+your+destiny&crid=38ZS5AS1HXZZD&sprefix=journey+to+fulfill+your+destiny%2Caps%2C93&ref=nb_sb_noss).  In this new book, Antoine explores the life of Joseph and what men today can learn from it.  Cinthia expressed happiness that the book is releasing at such a time, noting that men are often given very mixed and degrading messages in our culture; they are still expected to show up and perform but are often unsure what they are supposed to do.  Antoine and Cinthia discussed ways men are often misunderstood in our society; for example, many women do not realize that men tend to want to please, that they appreciate coaching when they have confidence in the coach, and that men, as protectors, tend to pull information to assess risk from details that women may not realize mean anything to them.  Antoine pointed out that, underneath the confusion, men have a desire for purpose and a longing to provide and protect.  Cinthia noted that some women in our culture experience difficulty trusting and receiving from men for a variety of reasons and that this is part of a confusing cycle for men, one that includes shame, repressed anger, and negative repercussions.  Women are being encouraged to compete with men at every turn, but good men tend not to want to compete seriously with women.  This leads to a sense of being unable to engage and succeed.

Antoine discussed concepts from his book that may be helpful to men in dealing with all this.  He emphasized the importance of embracing and accepting the Heavenly Father’s gifts as Joseph did with his father Jacob’s gift; this is foundational to the confidence men need.  Antoine’s mother’s regular assertions that God had a calling on his life helped him to have this sense of this early in life while his wife’s edifying words help him with it now, and Cinthia noted that women have tremendous power to encourage men in their efforts and callings (“They live for the points,” she says.).  Just as women have often been stereotyped, men are now stereotyped negatively and placed under multiple and contradictory expectations (e.g., women expecting them to be protective and lead but then getting offended when they try to do this).  Cinthia encourages women to be willing to learn how to appreciate and support good men since good men typically want to support them well; she encourages all of us to learn to use deep breathing to relax our bodies so we can participate in the “reset” of our perspectives instead of “going out locked and loaded.”  Antoine encouraged resetting by using biblical self-affirmations so that we go to the Source of our identity, embracing His gifts and callings rather than the opinions of others.  His book even has prayers at the end of each chapter that men can use to engage with God and learn who they are.  He emphasized having a relationship with God first (“Really start leaning into your relationship with the Father.”) but also encouraged connecting with a group of men, a pastor, or some kind of mentor.  When mentally weighed down, Antoine encouraged men to spend time reading the Bible – a way of “putting good fuel” into the system – and praying in a way that involves both talking and listening to God as we do in conversation with others.  Even if one does not understand all the words in the Bible, it is powerful because it is from God; it requires time to get to know (as does a new cellphone).  Finding a translation one understands is important, then reading it, begins a process of transformation.  Connecting with Jesus leads to discovery that He is exactly what men need (and women, too, but that is another conversation), though it will take eternity to get to know Him more fully. 

Antoine emphasizes in closing that God created you on purpose and put you in this generation on purpose.  He has put something into you that we need right now in this generation.  Get to know the love of God.  We are His masterpieces, created anew in Christ Jesus to do the works that He prepared for us long ago (Ephesians 2:10, NLT).  He has put gifts inside of you and wants to send those gifts to the world.