Let Them Love You, Continued

Do you struggle with letting others love you?  Today Cinthia reviews some important concepts about letting others love you.  We all need grace, kindness, even smiles; you can receive and give these things.  The better your boundaries are, the more loving you can be.  Extending grace does not mean the person owes you something.  I Corinthians 13, as well as other verses about the love of God, give us a picture of what love means.  God is kind; you be kind.  Practice kindness toward strangers and toward those close to you, honoring appropriate boundaries; receive kindnesses in the same way. 

Kindness shown does not necessarily mean that one person owes another something.  Deciding for others what they are expecting in return is a boundary violation.  You do not have to read the minds of others.  Don’t allow suspicion to steal from you or from those who try to give you something.  It is okay to ask or to offer payment, but, often, the best repayment for someone’s kindness is continuing to live as a changed person.  It is okay to just say “thank you.”  Don’t insult the giver of a gift because you believe your own negative feelings.  If it turns out someone has attached strings without telling you, you can always say, “I am glad you told me.  I did not know that you were expecting or needing that.  I can/cannot do that.” 

Another piece of love is covering.  Covering is a gift of grace; it is different than enabling or keeping harmful secrets.  God covers us while we let Him change us, while we work on doing the things He gives us to address.  Covering can minimize the damage and allow the person to fix what he or she has broken; it refuses to expose the person while he or she is working on repentance and change.  This does not mean that we have to make long checklists of ways the person has to prove themselves and that we have to expose them otherwise.  In close relationships, we may need to address situations in which people are not trying to change, but, in general, it is not our business.  God is with us as we change and is infinitely patient with our mistakes.  Allow those who love you to support you as you learn to be the best version of yourself. 

Love can be scary because we need it so badly.  We are wired to attach.  But trying to read the minds of others in order to protect ourselves is not as effective as we might think.  Learn to be a safe person and to love who God made you to be.  Extend kindness and grace to yourself and others, and receive it from those who offer it.  There is no promise you will not get hurt, but God is with His people and will take care of you through it.