What Is Your Achilles Heel?

What is your “Achilles Heel,” the weakness or “limp” that is always there in your life?  Do you judge yourself for it, berate yourself for having it?  Do you try to avoid it, chasing feelings that make it seem less painful for a while?

Healthy self-esteem involves a balance, both for individuals and for society.  We tend instead to swing back and forth on a pendulum, clinging to inferiority, then over-valuing our own good qualities.  This is because we tend to cling to performance-oriented evaluations of ourselves and others, judging worth and value by achievements, accolades, approval, looks, accomplishments, etc.  The key to getting off the pendulum is to learn that our worth is separate from our performance, that we are valuable because God made us on purpose and for a specific purpose.  Secure in that knowledge, we then strive to be the best versions of ourselves, not to make ourselves worthwhile but to honor the One Who made us so well.

Instead, we often try to meet our needs for self-value by “chasing a feeling.”  We may berate ourselves, hoping to force change that will make us feel better about ourselves.  But when we depend on the feelings that come from our accomplishments or the approval of others, we find them to be fleeting.  We fear failure, exposure, rejection, increased self-loathing, etc.  It is like trying to nourish ourselves on dessert or a diet of artificial sweeteners without laying a foundation of good nutrition to sustain us.  This means that chasing good feelings ultimately creates bad feelings, leading to more self-judgment and pain and inspiring more feeling-chasing behaviors.  We tend to believe the lies that match our emotional states.  This can lead to tragic outcomes including suicide.  Believing all our emotions creates a hellish experience, which we then try to fight with more perfection, feeling-chasing, etc.  What do you do to try to meet the needs inside you?

However, Jesus told His disciples that, by abiding in His word, they would know the truth and the truth would set them free (John 8:32).  Truth frees us even when it is uncomfortable, unpleasant, and the opposite of easy.  We must tell the truth to others and to ourselves.  We are terrified of truth, but God wants to use it to heal us.  God doesn’t tell mercy lies, but He has mercy on us by telling the actual truth to heal in order to heal us.

Cinthia discussed “limps” of her own including an eating disorder that stemmed from her belief that she was not “good enough,” as well as her dream of being a performer, which she thought must be God’s design since it was her dream for herself.  Instead, God used the truth to heal her: that He had made her and liked the way He had done so, that He wasn’t going to change His design of her to suit her, that she could enjoy who He made her to be or not, and, finally, that He had given her musical giftings and creativity as an “add-on” and not her primary mission in life.

God tells us the truth because He cares. When we care about ourselves, we also address our weaknesses and discipline ourselves.  We learn to recognize the fleeting nature of feelings.  God doesn’t just want us to feel good.  He wants us to know that He created us in a way we like and that He is sad that we don’t. 

What are you fighting within yourself?  What are you fighting yourself about, and is it worth the effort?  Are you being your own worst enemy, or are you being a true friend to yourself?  About what do you constantly argue with yourself?  What are you fighting for, and what are you trying to achieve?  Are you fighting for yourself or against yourself?  What do you talk yourself into and out of?  What are you willing to fight for yourself to achieve?  Don’t die for a feeling.  Don’t give up over a feeling.

Finally, Cinthia discussed an article by Cindy Rooy (Times News.net/living/faith/has-god-given-you-a-limp) and asked, “What is the limp that God has given you?”  Jacob, notes Rooy, was self-sufficient and independent, but this wasn’t what God wanted for him.  Finally, God wrestled (or sent an angel to wrestle) Jacob through the night, finally leaving him with a limp that remained for the rest of his earthly life.  After that, Jacob stopped scheming to obtain God’s blessings and learned to trust and depend on Him.

God will wrestle with us to break our will so He can bless us in our brokenness.  This is because He loves us.  We were never meant to live in our own strength, independent of Him, and we destroy ourselves and miss out on the life we were meant to live when we try.  Don’t judge your need for Him.  Don’t feel badly that you can’t do it without Him.  Think of how we feel about children and pets who need our help.  God wants us to rely on Him in our need and learn to trust Him.  Consider Paul’s “thorn in the flesh” (II Corinthians 12:7-10).  We submit to God most consistently out of our need. 

God disciplines His children because He loves us.  Similarly, when we learn to care about ourselves, we learn to discipline ourselves.  We only discipline ourselves if we care enough about ourselves.  It is not ok to care so little about ourselves that we don’t discipline ourselves toward what is good for us. 

Who do you trust, and who trusts you?  Jesus is the Good Shepherd.  He wants you to know His voice and follow Him.  He does not want to give you a debilitating limp before you submit.  He wants you to trust Him.  His plan for you is specific, and He wants you to walk it out the way He intends, which will ultimately result in your highest fulfillment, though not necessarily all your best feelings right now.

God is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or think (Ephesians 3:20).  Trust Him.