Conversations with Cinthia

Let’s Fire Your Inner Critic

Have you ever been told that you are your own worst critic?  Is your own self-criticism so pervasive in your mind that it’s hard to even distinguish it from the rest of your thoughts?  With all you have heard about the negative impact of negative self-talk, why is it so hard to turn down the volume on that inner critic?  Today Cinthia explores the concept of the observing self, which is actually important for people to develop as they grow up, as well as some ways that observing self can (often in an attempt at self-protection, believe it or not!) become a caustic inner critic.  She also discusses what it might look like to give that critic a job-change and expect more and better things from it so that it becomes a compassionate witness instead of a tool for self-flagellation. To dive deeper into the message of each podcast, we've created a study guide for each episode. Download your FREE Study Guide here!  https://www.cinthiahiett.com/services-6

Are You Happy With Who You Are?

Accepting ourselves as created beings who were not consulted about our own designs can be tough for humans.  We may not like certain things about ourselves, even things that God designed in us on purpose.  Sometimes we confuse our actual faults with traits we simply don’t like, or that others don’t like in us.  But becoming the best versions of ourselves requires accepting the way we were each made and learning to harness our unique temperaments for a purpose.  Join Cinthia to consider your own temperament and how accepting your own make-up (and that of others) can help you enjoy who you are, as well as work on the things that need work instead of constantly trying to be something you were never meant to be.  To dive deeper into the message of each podcast, we've created a study guide for each episode. Download your FREE Study Guide here!  https://www.cinthiahiett.com/services-6

True Adults and the Principles They Master

Children and adolescents tend to define adulthood by the freedom to do whatever one wants to do.  Actual maturity, on the other hand, tends to involve skills like being able to wait patiently or do what needs to be done, even when one doesn’t feel like doing it.  The fact is that lots of people in our culture go through decades of adult life without ever understanding what it really means to grow up.  So how do we know if those people are us?  Is it possible to see our own immaturity clearly and forge a path toward true adulthood?  Join Cinthia to take a hard look at the marks of true adulthood.  To dive deeper into the message of each podcast, we've created a study guide for each episode. Download your FREE Study Guide here!  https://www.cinthiahiett.com/services-6

Getting Drunk on Your Emotions

As Cinthia so often says, feelings are real but not always true.  The “real” part means (in part) that our bodies produce chemicals that wash through us – things like adrenaline and cortisol that can separate us from our logical brains and, if we’re not careful, influence our decisions in devastating ways.  The good news, Cinthia explains, is that it is possible to have emotions, notice them, and use them well without allowing them to drive us over proverbial cliffs.  If you have ever have ever found yourself “drunk on your own emotions” or woken up with an “emotional hangover” from things you did while you were angry, panicked, steeped in hopelessness, or high on excitement, this episode is for you.  To dive deeper into the message of each podcast, we've created a study guide for each episode. Download your FREE Study Guide here!  https://www.cinthiahiett.com/services-6

How Humor Transforms Hard Things

Humor seems to come naturally in some situations and for some people.  But sometimes humor is hard to come by, and there are times when it is seems to elude us.  While we never want to use humor as a tool to inflict pain, avoid reality, or devalue what matters, humor can be an amazing tool for helping us deal with pain, survive reality, and appreciate what is valuable.  In what areas of life can you let in a little laughter?  How can humor help you to enjoy what there is to enjoy and deal more productively with the things that are not enjoyable?  To dive deeper into the message of each podcast, we've created a study guide for each episode. Download your FREE Study Guide here!  https://www.cinthiahiett.com/services-6

Recovering Your Life After A Toxic Relationship

Toxic relationships tend to leave us with emotional baggage to unpack.  Unfortunately, there are some kinds of “unpacking” that don’t really help us to recover.  Blaming yourself for someone else’s behavior, trying to understand why an abusive or narcissistic person treated you the way they did, slandering and villainizing your ex in an attempt to get the support or validation that has been missing for so long – all of these can be “rabbit holes” that only lead further into the darkness.  Today, Cinthia encourages instead re-programming our minds with pieces of reality that got lost over the course of the relationship, especially when that reality is about who we are, why we are here, and what our purpose is.  Join her to consider your next step in building or rebuilding a healthy foundation after the wreckage of a toxic relationship or other destabilizing situation.  To dive deeper into the message of each podcast, we've created a study guide for each episode. Download your FREE Study Guide here!  https://www.cinthiahiett.com/services-6

What Comes After A Toxic Relationship

There is life after the end of a toxic relationship.  At first, it may feel like you have lost the person you were before the toxicity started, as well as the sense of identity you developed in the relationship.  But you can reestablish your sense of identity, grieve the losses, and continue to grow more into the person you were created to be.  In fact, even while you are on this recovery journey, you can handle the situation with class instead of indulging in the kinds of gossip, slander, revenge, and other dignity-destroying behaviors we often associate with someone who has recently lost a relationship.  Join Cinthia to explore guidelines for re-learning who you are without allowing bitterness or resentment to shape your current identity.  To dive deeper into the message of each podcast, we've created a study guide for each episode. Download your FREE Study Guide here!  https://www.cinthiahiett.com/services-6

The Truth About Passive-Aggressiveness

Passive-aggressive behavior can feel safe, satisfying, even virtuous or clever, to the person practicing it, which is part of why so many people use it without recognizing it.  Its effect on others, however, can be irritating, infuriating, destabilizing, even crazy-making.  It may give us some satisfying moments or protect us from having to risk sharing our real thoughts, feelings, and boundaries, but it can prevent our relationships from being truly satisfying in the long run.  It can even destroy them.  Today Cinthia discusses what passive-aggressiveness is, why it develops, how it impacts people, and what to do if you or someone in your life tends toward it.  To dive deeper into the message of each podcast, we've created a study guide for each episode. Download your FREE Study Guide here!  https://www.cinthiahiett.com/services-6

The Truth About Codependency

Most people these days have heard the term codependency, but plenty of people don’t know what it looks like in real life or how to recognize it in themselves.  Overly narrow descriptions of it exclude lots of real-life codependents, limiting our understanding and missing the hope that we can become stronger.  Today Cinthia defines codependency and discusses a variety of ways it can operate in our day-to-day lives, as well as some areas we can begin to grow stronger.  There are some really, really great people who struggle with codependency.  Are you one of them? And, if so, what will you do with it?  To dive deeper into the message of each podcast, we've created a study guide for each episode. Download your FREE Study Guide here!  https://www.cinthiahiett.com/services-6

How to End a Relationship (the Healthy Way)

Most of the time, we talk about how to make relationships healthier, accept one another’s imperfections, and take responsibility for ourselves within the context of the lives we have.  But what about relationships that are deeply and consistently unhealthy, despite all our deepest longings and efforts?  Relationships can end in various ways, some much more devastating than others.  How do you control yourself as you navigate a situation that is beyond your control?  In the last few weeks, Cinthia has been counting down the relational threat levels, and last week she explored DEFCON 1, the point at which relationships end in one way or another.  Today she looks further at how to survive the turmoil of a relationship that has reached DEFCON 1 so that you exit well.  To dive deeper into the message of each podcast, we've created a study guide for each episode. Download your FREE Study Guide here!  https://www.cinthiahiett.com/services-6