Conversations with Cinthia

Integrity: The Most Effective Way to Secure Your Self-Esteem

Self-respect involves accepting our God-given worth and treating ourselves accordingly, but it doesn't mean we brainwash ourselves into believing that we are admirable when our behavior is simply not.  If we want to secure positive self-esteem, we have to earn our own respect; for that, we need integrity.  Today Cinthia explores what integrity is, how it impacts self-esteem, and how to develop our integrity so that our selves are easier to esteem.

Are You Brave Enough to Be YOU? (originally aired 1-24-21)

"You follow me," Jesus told the other disciples when they wondered what Jesus had planned for John.  Such simple instructions, but following Jesus as ourselves rather than looking around at everyone else can be more difficult than we imagined.  Do you ever wish you could follow Him as someone else?  Do you wonder if He has a path for you, if He even likes you?  Cinthia asserts that it takes courage to be the person God created you to be but that He made you the only one who can do it.  You need His forgiveness, His strength,  His guidance, and the assurance that He made you on purpose and has not lost the vision He had for you, no matter what's happened or what you've done.  Join Cinthia for a look at what it means to be brave enough to accept the assignment of being yourself. 

Why Do We Lie?

                Most of us know we shouldn’t lie, but how honest are we about our honesty?  We may lie overtly or covertly.  We may lie to survive, to get our needs met, to protect ourselves from pain (though we know it ultimately tends to bring us more pain), to smooth out social interactions, to spare the feelings of others, and for so many other reasons.  Some people certainly lie more than others, some with remorse and others without.   So when does lying signal serious cause for concern, like personality disorders or other characterological issues?  How do we deal with it in ourselves or in others?  Today Cinthia looks at the research on who lies about what and why, and she guides us through a process of examining ourselves.  What would it take for you to experience safety and truth at the same time?  Join Cinthia to look at where to start when it comes to truth and lies.

The Greatest Comeback of All Times (originally aired 11-16-20)

Do you ever long wistfully for a time when your life seemed full of potential, when it seemed your life would be filled with meaning and you would truly make a difference?  Just because we start counting ourselves out doesn't mean God does.  Sometimes, when we think a person has passed his prime and is beyond the age when people can make something of themselves, God is just getting started.  Whatever your failures, whatever your age, whatever your circumstances and however life has happened, God is still working, or He wouldn't still have you here.  Join Cinthia to rethink your ideas about what "too late" really means and to reignite your willingness to let God take you places you may not have dared to dream.

Boundaries and Your Adult Children

Parenting advice abounds these days... that is, if your kids are still underage.  But what if you have adult kids who still seem to need parenting?  You didn't stop loving them when they turned eighteen; how can you help them now?  And what do you do if their adult lives get bumpy and they seem more comfortable being your kids than moving forward with their lives?  Parenting isn't easy, even after you finish bringing up children.  Today Cinthia explores the boundaries that apply to parenting once your children aren't children anymore.  If you made it through teething, toilet training, and teenagers only to find more challenges in the twenties and beyond, join Cinthia to look at what wisdom means now.

I Really Screwed Up

Have you ever felt your stomach drop and the blood rush out of your head as you comprehend how badly you've messed up?  Have you experienced those waves of shame and guilt that come over you again and again, gutting you, snatching away any sense of hope or happiness that has started to accumulate since the last wave knocked you over?  We've all been there, but some of us live there, believing our choices to be a life sentence that will never fully be served.  But the truth is that Jesus took our guilt and shame on Himself when He died for us.  He has already faced the waves for us.  So how do we let Him calm the storm inside us?  Is it even right to try to move on when we have done so much damage?  Cinthia explores all this and more today.  If finding peace seems impossible or even wrong because of what you've done, don't miss this episode.

Show Up As A Grown-Up (Originally aired 6-7-20)

Do you ever suspect that our society is low on grown-ups these days?  We tend to believe we are entitled to consistently pleasant feelings and that someone is to blame if these aren't happening.  We get confused about the difference between things that "feel" true and things that actually are.  Cinthia explains that these ways of thinking tend to be hallmarks of childhood, not signs of a healthy adult approach.  Just as we don't want little children trying to handle adult problems, we can't let the most childish and vulnerable parts of our psyches run our lives and make decisions that impact our lives and the lives of other people.  So how do adults deal with feelings?  What hopes should we grasp, and what losses should we accept?  How can we grow up enough to stop needing to believe things that aren't true?  Join Cinthia to examine some ideas that may be difficult but can help us to truly grow up.  

The Difference Between an Excuse and an Explanation

Excuses drain our power by encasing us in reasons we cannot change; excuses are a problem.  But sometimes a "no excuses" mentality gets too thorough and starts banning explanations in addition to excuses; then we have a different problem because explanations can sometimes help.  So how do we stop living under the delusion of our own excuses while still embracing the understanding that can accompany insightful explanation? And, when navigating relationships and making decisions about whom to trust, how do we determine whether that other person is offering us an excuse or an explanation?  Today Cinthia offers a look at the difference between excuses, which generally try to help us avoid responsibility or mount a defense, and explanations, which can actually help us embrace responsibility and communicate more effectively as we change.  

Be Your Own Change Agent

We look for all kinds of things to help us change.  Most of us, however, already know a few ways we could change our lives for the better.  So why don't we change?  Today Cinthia explores what it looks like to be your own change agent, as well as to consider what is getting in the way of change for you.  If you know change would be a good thing but are still stuck, join Cinthia to look at how to become your own agent for change.

The Naked Crabs

Have you ever felt like a crab without a shell -- naked, vulnerable, having lost your old sense of protection without yet having formed a new one?  It's no secret that change can be difficult, and some changes are harder than others.  But change is unavoidable, and we have to figure out how to navigate it.  Whether you're dealing with change right now or just know it will be here again in the future, join Cinthia to explore what it means to grieve well and embrace hope in the face of change.