Conversations with Cinthia

Everything Men Wish You Knew About Them

The brains of men are different from those of women, and accepting physiological differences can help us navigate relationships much more effectively.  Women often misunderstand how much men value them because they misinterpret male behaviors.  How does it impact relationships that men have significantly more grey matter than women?  Did you know, ladies, that it's very distressing for good men to hear the women they love devalue themselves over and over?  How can a woman know if a man values her?  How does a man react to danger signals, and how does this impact relational arguments?  Why do men distance themselves, often at the very times women most feel a need to connect?  Cinthia explains that, especially for men, action is everything; she encourages women to hear the messages in what men do.

The Power of Gratefulness: Thank You, the Secret to Happiness

We've talked a lot this week about the positive impact gratefulness has on us individually, but how does it affect groups, families, workplaces, societies?  What happens when a culture loses touch with gratitude?  A dynamic of gratitude elevates our relationships and communities, but, if we're waiting to enjoy perfection together, we may wait a long time.  How can you build a habit of gratitude in ways that help raise the happiness quotient in the groups you inhabit? 

The Power of Gratefulness: Antidote for Envy and Jealousy

Much of the world lives on far less than most Americans can imagine, and poverty claims the lives of children around the world on a daily basis.  Yet many of us who live in relative comfort with adequate food and clean water -- and often many, many luxuries besides -- still live lives tainted, even dominated, by resentment and envy.  Yes, we have legitimate pain, too, and God cares about our needs as well as our wants, desires, and longings.  But when we enjoy gifts that would make much of the world ecstatic and still find ourselves angry, bitter, and jealous, perhaps we need a dose of gratefulness to clear our vision and help us savor the goodness in which we dwell.  Cinthia discusses how allowing gratitude to flow through our lives can change our lives and the way we impact others.  

The Power of Gratefulness: Research On the Physical Effects of Gratefulness

The opposite of gratefulness is envy, which leads to resentment and despair; comparison keeps it all going and leads us away from the peace gratitude brings.  Ironically, we tend to hold onto our pessimism, thinking it will protect us from disappointment and hurt.  But research indicates that happiness, positivity, and gratitude impact our physical health and lifespan.  It may be over-reaching to insist that gratitude heals everything, but research does seem to indicate that gratitude lessens the impact and severity of depression, chronic illness, and more.  Gratitude improves our experience of our circumstances, even when it doesn't change them.  It improves our relationships and our behavior (including reducing self-medicating behaviors), and it helps us stop comparing ourselves to others.  How would it change your life to open the door to gratitude just a little bit wider?

The Power of Gratefulness: Challenges To Gratitude

Yesterday's look at Scripture and research made a great case for the importance and power of gratitude.  Yet, somehow, gratitude seems to be at odds with our hardwiring.  Sin and survival both seem to nudge the brain toward negativity, and life can be genuinely painful, even agonizing at times.  Gratitude can threaten our senses of control, fairness, and more.  But gratitude is important in a painful world, and our brain chemistry needs it to help us navigate the difficulty.  Cinthia discusses how to move against the flow to thankfulness.

The Power of Gratefulness: Why Be Grateful?

Do you remember being asked, "What do you say?" as a kid, usually just after being given something?  Saying "thank you" is the first manner we learn as children, and we often think of it as courtesy toward the giver of a gift.  It is this, certainly, but do you know that gratitude affects the grateful one?  It impacts our physical bodies, our hearts, our minds, our relationships.  It changes our relationship with life, with goodness, with ourselves, with God.  This is even (perhaps especially) true for those who experience trauma and other great loss, people who some may think have little for which to be grateful.  Cinthia discusses what the Bible and research tell us about gratitude in this introduction to a week-long series. 

Dating: Three Loves- A Must for Any Romantic Relationship

What is love?  In its original languages, the Bible uses different words that are usually all translated "love" in English.  Cinthia discusses three kinds of love that are discussed in the Bible and what it means for these to be present in a romantic relationship.  These three types of love create a three-strand love that every romantic relationship must have.  Today wraps up a two-week series on dating.  Don't miss Cinthia's heart-to-heart wrap-up on the beauty, pain, importance, and complexity of the dating process and what it means to fall in love.  

Dating Deal Breakers: Relationships and Ephesians 4:2-3

Dating is a newer phenomenon and not described specifically in the Bible, but that doesn't mean God has no wisdom for us on this topic.  Today, Cinthia looks at several verses that describe how we should relate to each other, then discusses how these apply when dating and developing new relationships.

Dating Deal Breakers: Red, Yellow, and Green Flags

Sometimes single people find themselves being told not to be "too picky" but also not to "settle."  We know that no one is perfect, and dating requires us to discern which imperfections are real warning signs and which are not. When should we become more forgiving and flexible? When should we address a problem? When should we run? Today Cinthia introduces some specific examples to help us address these questions.

Dating: More On Love, and What's Love Got to Do With It?

Love doesn't always feel good.  Sometimes we confuse pleasure or intensity with love and mistake true love for something else because it can be uncomfortable.  Plus, love from other humans is imperfect, so how can we determine whether the imperfections are deal-breakers?  Cinthia looks at God as our model of love because He is Love, and LOVE never fails.  What does this mean for a relationship between two imperfect humans?  To start, it means that God has to be our ultimate Source of love; then, we are free to accept imperfect love from others and to determine what is not love at all.  Love hurts sometimes; Cinthia offers wisdom as we navigate the confusion.