Conversations with Cinthia

Helping the One You Love, Part 4

If you love someone dealing with a mental health disorder, do you ever wonder where God is in the middle of that person's struggle?   Do you worry about the medications they might be prescribed?  How does prayer and Bible reading fit into all this?  What about addictions?  And what are you supposed to do when the person doesn't want help?  Today Cinthia talks today about some of the things that person likely wants you to know and understand.  Cinthia gives a large amount of information and food for thought today; join her to increase your understanding and gain some much-need perspective.  She will continue this conversation tomorrow, so be sure to come back for that episode!

Helping the One You Love, Part 3

Do you ever get frustrated with the lack of specific instructions available about what to do or not do regarding loved ones who are struggling?  Certain guidelines are available, but knowing how to apply them to your situation may be difficult.  Today Cinthia discusses what it looks like to stay close to God as we listen for His instructions regarding a particular situation.  She emphasizes the importance of self-care and finding support for yourself, the need to get relevant education so we can consider the appropriate factors, the importance of seeking and implementing advice from appropriate professionals, learning to deal with the grief and loss that can come when the responses we see in the short- or long-term are not what we hoped, and forgiving without excusing.  Also, if you and your spouse both love the person, you may find yourselves wanting to deal with the situation differently; Cinthia talks about differences in the ways men and women tend to respond to struggling loved ones and how to navigate this road together.  There are no easy answers, but this episode has great insight to help you grapple with the questions productively.

Helping the One You Love, Part 2

When someone we love struggles with mental illness, it can be hard to know how to truly help and when our help might actually become part of the problem.  Jesus told a story about how to help others; it's often called "The Story of the Good Samaritan."  Today Cinthia looks at how this story applies when our "neighbor" has a mental illness.  The Samaritan man in the story showed great mercy but also had good boundaries.  Today's episode encourages strategies like seeing instead of distancing or pretending, appropriately covering without enabling, and giving what we can without becoming confused about where we end and the other person begins.  This last one can be particularly confusing, but Cinthia gives some great specifics regarding how to know when our boundaries need to be stronger.  If you are sometimes don't know what your role in helping your loved one is supposed to be, this episode offers great insight for the journey.  

Helping the One You Love, Part 1

When we love someone who struggles with a mental illness, we may want desperately to help but not know what to do.  Sometimes we wonder if we are making things worse.  Today Cinthia starts a week on the topic of helping people we love who struggle with mental illness.  She begins with an acknowledgement that relationships in which mental illness is present can involve a lot of unintended harm; not only can those with mental illness sometimes cause negative consequences to themselves or others, but those who love them can unintentionally cause harm to the person struggling.  She encourages forgiveness (of others and ourselves), seeking to understand the reality of the situation, and working through grief and loss to reach acceptance.  She also emphasizes that healthy relationships (not enabling or codependent ones) can play important and helpful roles for people seeking greater mental health.  Join Cinthia to begin a great week on a topic that often receives too little attention.

Interview: Laura Schroff: Angels On Earth

Do you ever get tired of negative stories and disconnected neighbors?  Whether it's the news, our own lives, or the pieces of life others share with us, there can be so much pain to witness in the world, and sometimes it seems like there's so little we can do to help one another through it.  Today Cinthia talks with author Laura Schroff about her book Angels On Earth, which shares twenty-nine beautiful stories of times people have been helped by others.  If you long for moments of beauty, need inspiration to find appropriate ways to reach out, or want to hear something positive over your headphones after so much heaviness, listen to an interview about how the small acts of kindness really do make an impact in the world.

Forgiveness, Part 4: Forgiving In Relationship

We've been talking about forgiveness this week as it pertains to all our relationships, but today Cinthia looks at forgiveness in our primary relationships.  Forgiveness can seem particularly threatening in our closest relationships because unforgiveness can masquerade as a shield, making us think it's protecting us from deeper hurt in very vulnerable situations.  Also, while forgiving people from our past doesn't always involve restoring ongoing relationships, forgiving in our close and current relationships means learning how to deal with the issue in the present.  Sometimes we need to discuss these issues with one another, and Cinthia offers guidelines for doing this and for dealing with the emotions that can result.  Cinthia also talks about how children can learn at home to incorporate forgiveness into their relationships; don't miss her examples for how to teach and model something that can help your children's relationships for a lifetime.

Forgiveness, Part 3:The Deadly Consequences of Unforgiveness

Unforgiveness affects us at so many levels, even impacting our physical health.  We often don't know how heavy a burden it is to us until we let it go.  Today Cinthia looks at some of the ways unforgiveness interacts with us physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.  She also continues looking at the "how" of forgiveness, encouraging each of us to take another step; she discusses deciding to forgive (which doesn't necessarily change our feelings yet), depending on the Holy Spirit for power to do what is beyond us, and obeying God by praying good things for our enemies.  Cinthia also discusses how the idea of forgiveness can be applied to our resentments toward God, even though we know He does nothing wrong that needs true forgiveness; we can stop withholding from Him and give Him trust we may have withdrawn when we became hurt, disappointed, or disillusioned.  Join Cinthia to take another step toward reclaiming the freedom that unforgiveness restricts.

Forgiveness, Part 2: Forgiving Others, Forgiving Ourselves

Yesterday, Cinthia talked about what forgiveness is and why it matters, and she encouraged us to ask God to show us what we need to forgive.  But how do we actually forgive?  Today, Cinthia discusses God's ability to see us as more than a collection of the things we have done wrong, no matter how terrible the collection.  She explains that we can learn to do the same with ourselves and others.  God does not minimize or rationalize our sin, but he separates our sin from who we are.  Learning to forgive ourselves and others is about learning to hate what was done, not the person who did it.  Instead of minimizing or excusing what was done to us or by us, we can learn to stop minimizing the cross of Christ, which is the only thing bigger than the offenses.  Join Cinthia to learn about another step you can take toward healing.

Forgiveness, Part 1: The What and the Why

Humans crave forgiveness the way we crave air, but giving and receiving forgiveness can seem impossible, dangerous, even wrong.  Sometimes we misunderstand what forgiveness is and think we need unforgiveness as a protective boundary.  Today Cinthia discusses what forgiveness and unforgiveness are, how they impact us, how God sees them, and how she, in her own life, moved from telling God she would never forgive the person who most deeply harmed her to asking God for His mercy to be able to forgive.  Sometimes forgiveness is a journey, and you may not walk the whole road today.  But this episode might just be a tool to help you take a step toward the One Who forgives you, the One Who wants to heal you, the One Who has most often been down the forgiveness road and can lead you there, as well.  Join us for this episode and for the rest of the series this week.

Real Grownups, Part 5: Ordering Your Value System (first aired 9-29-17)

Part of "the art of adulting" (as Cinthia says today) is having your own value system and living by it instead of changing your values depending on who is nearby or what is happening.  Value systems, however, can get way out of order, and Cinthia talks today about what it means to get our value systems in check.  She discusses personal, spiritual, family, and career values, and she examines what it looks like to honor these values appropriately.  For example, how is loving and caring for our families different from doing everything our family members want us to do?  What do values look like in the office?  What traits should be part of our character, and what would that look like?  A value system is the foundation for all your other decisions.  Join Cinthia to look at how to build one or order the one you have.