Conversations with Cinthia

Communication, Part 2: Thoughts and the Mind

Communication, Part 1: Covert and Overt Communication

What are you saying?  We know it's more than just the words you choose; it includes tone, body language, facial expression, etc.  Still, words are important.  They build, and they tear down.  They matter.  Did you know that words even affect the brain of the one using the words?  Even the words on which we dwell affect our brains -- even if we don't say them!  Our history (e.g. having experienced trauma or negative input from others) can affect the way we communicate, both how we give and receive.  The good news is that we can learn to improve our communication, both the giving and the receipt of it.  We can change the words we use to think and express, and we can change our automatic perceptions and reactions in the face of others' communications.  Today Cinthia explains that we can learn to mean what we say and say what we mean instead of inappropriately protecting ourselves and others from the truth, and to do all this in love rather than justifying our brutal communication as "just being honest."  Today Cinthia looks at the ways God uses words and what this means for those of us who want to use words the way He intended.  

Real Grownups, Part 5: Ordering Your Value System

Part of "the art of adulting" (as Cinthia says today) is having your own value system and living by it instead of changing your values depending on who is nearby or what is happening.  Value systems, however, can get way out of order, and Cinthia talks today about what it means to get our value systems in check.  She discusses personal, spiritual, family, and career values, and she examines what it looks like to honor these values appropriately.  For example, how is loving and caring for our families different from doing everything our family members want us to do?  What do values look like in the office?  What traits should be part of our character, and what would that look like?  A value system is the foundation for all your other decisions.  Join Cinthia to look at how to build one or order the one you have.

Real Grownups, Part 4: Re-parenting Yourself

Nobody had a perfect childhood, and too many people go into the world hoping it will give them what they needed but didn't get from their parents.  Unfortunately, the world isn't really set up for that.  The good news is that God gives us ourselves as "parents" in our adult lives, and, while we can't go back to childhood and have others meet our needs, we can learn to meet our own needs and have healthy relationships with others now.  If you ever have a sense of insatiable need and find yourself taking that to the world, other people, substances, habits, etc., there is another option.  You can become a safe adult, a parent, for the child inside you.  You can learn from the past and move forward into the future.  You can develop your own value system and bring it with you into every situation.  Join Cinthia to learn more about becoming the parent you've always needed.  

Real Grownups, Part 3: Finding Your Calling

Do you ever wonder why you're here or even feel disconnected from yourself?  These things can happen at different levels, but everybody wants to have a sense of purpose in life.  In church, we often talk about this as finding or discerning a calling.  We can get bogged down in figuring out what ministry or career we are supposed to engage or where we should live, etc.  Cinthia explains, however, that finding the calling on your life is not primarily about figuring out what to do; it's about learning to be who you are supposed to be.  The big question is not what you are supposed to do with your life, but who you are and how you do whatever it is that you do.  God supplies the "what" and takes over the itinerary.  So how do we learn who to be and how to steward the selves that God has given us?  We start by learning to take responsibility for ourselves physically, psychologically/ emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, and socially.  This helps us reconnect with the people God made us to be.  Learning to be emotional adults involves learning to care for ourselves as people that God loves; this makes us capable of following the calling he gives us as He reveals it.  It may not sound as exciting as getting a revelation about the career or ministry God has for us, but learning to grow up makes us ready for anything He wants to do.  Join Cinthia to keep growing and moving toward ready.

Real Grownups, Part 2: The Difference Between Hurt and Harm

Things that hurt an adult can devastate a child, and children need adults to put them back together (though we know they don't always get that help).  When our bodies and lifestyles have matured past childhood but left our emotions behind, we adults can function in much the same way -- being harmed by things that should only hurt, needing others to repair and manage them, etc.  Cinthia continues this series on becoming all that we were meant to be by helping us look at approaching hurt as emotional adults instead of grown-up-bodied children.  She explains the differences among being dependent, independent, and interdependent, and explains how this impacts the level of devastation we experience when other people make decisions that hurt us.  Life hurts sometimes, but you don't have to keep experiencing it as a helpless child.  Join Cinthia to keep learning, growing, and growing up.

Real Grownups, Part 1: Growing Up Emotionally

You don't have to have had a perfect childhood to become an emotionally healthy adult, but sometimes it takes more work than we expected. None of us had perfect childhoods; for one thing, we were all reared by human beings.  Sometimes we think we matured because our bodies became adult bodies.  Maybe we lost our innocence or "grew up too fast" or became jaded, and we assumed that meant we had at least achieved emotional adulthood.  But the fact is that these things don't really produce emotional maturity.  Too many of us walk around in adult bodies doing adult tasks and functioning without the good parts of childhood, such as childlike faith, but with actual emotional functioning that would be more appropriate to children.  Join us as Cinthia explains what it truly means to be an emotional adult and continues a two-week series on how to become more of what you were meant to be.  

Be Your Own Best Version, Part 3: Pain Is Inevitable

Do you ever find yourself thinking that other people don't hurt the way you do?  That some people have lives that just work while yours often doesn't?  Pain is inevitable, and managing it well is imperative if we are going to live as the best versions of ourselves.  Join Cinthia to explore what it means to accept that pain is part of life and that there are ways to deal with it as the best versions of ourselves.

Be Your Own Best Version, Part 2: You Can Effect Change In Yourself and the World Around You

Yesterday, Cinthia introduced three basic concepts that are key to becoming the people we were meant to be:  First, You are alive for a reason.  Second, you can affect change in yourself and the world around you.  Third, pain is inevitable but can be effectively managed so that it results in gain instead of being useless.  Today, she explores these in more depth.  Do you ever find yourself doubting these ideas?  Do you try to control the world around you because you don't know how to manage yourself?  Do you ever find yourself blaming yourself or everyone else but not knowing what steps to take next? Cinthia continues introducing the heart of the show and the topics that will inspire all the others as she continues the new daily format.

Be Your Own Best Version, Part 1: God Created You With A Purpose

After two days with Pastor Leslie Martin, who taught the Bible in this daily radio time slot for fourteen years, Cinthia continues introducing listeners to the intentions for this new daily format for her show.  She explains what it means to "be your own best version" and discusses the three basic tenets by which she helps people move toward self-management: First, you are alive for a reason.  Second, you can move toward change in yourself and the world around you.  Third, pain is inevitable, but we can effectively manage pain so that it results in gain instead of occurring in vain.  You don't have to live in survival mode, and there is a God Who cares enough to keep His arms around you through the process.  What is standing between you and what you were created to be?