Conversations with Cinthia

What Is Your Achilles Heel?

What is your “Achilles Heel,” the weakness or “limp” that is always there in your life?  Do you judge yourself for it, berate yourself for having it?  Do you try to avoid it, chasing feelings that make it seem less painful for a while?

Healthy self-esteem involves a balance, both for individuals and for society.  We tend instead to swing back and forth on a pendulum, clinging to inferiority, then over-valuing our own good qualities.  This is because we tend to cling to performance-oriented evaluations of ourselves and others, judging worth and value by achievements, accolades, approval, looks, accomplishments, etc.  The key to getting off the pendulum is to learn that our worth is separate from our performance, that we are valuable because God made us on purpose and for a specific purpose.  Secure in that knowledge, we then strive to be the best versions of ourselves, not to make ourselves worthwhile but to honor the One Who made us so well.

Instead, we often try to meet our needs for self-value by “chasing a feeling.”  We may berate ourselves, hoping to force change that will make us feel better about ourselves.  But when we depend on the feelings that come from our accomplishments or the approval of others, we find them to be fleeting.  We fear failure, exposure, rejection, increased self-loathing, etc.  It is like trying to nourish ourselves on dessert or a diet of artificial sweeteners without laying a foundation of good nutrition to sustain us.  This means that chasing good feelings ultimately creates bad feelings, leading to more self-judgment and pain and inspiring more feeling-chasing behaviors.  We tend to believe the lies that match our emotional states.  This can lead to tragic outcomes including suicide.  Believing all our emotions creates a hellish experience, which we then try to fight with more perfection, feeling-chasing, etc.  What do you do to try to meet the needs inside you?

However, Jesus told His disciples that, by abiding in His word, they would know the truth and the truth would set them free (John 8:32).  Truth frees us even when it is uncomfortable, unpleasant, and the opposite of easy.  We must tell the truth to others and to ourselves.  We are terrified of truth, but God wants to use it to heal us.  God doesn’t tell mercy lies, but He has mercy on us by telling the actual truth to heal in order to heal us.

Cinthia discussed “limps” of her own including an eating disorder that stemmed from her belief that she was not “good enough,” as well as her dream of being a performer, which she thought must be God’s design since it was her dream for herself.  Instead, God used the truth to heal her: that He had made her and liked the way He had done so, that He wasn’t going to change His design of her to suit her, that she could enjoy who He made her to be or not, and, finally, that He had given her musical giftings and creativity as an “add-on” and not her primary mission in life.

God tells us the truth because He cares. When we care about ourselves, we also address our weaknesses and discipline ourselves.  We learn to recognize the fleeting nature of feelings.  God doesn’t just want us to feel good.  He wants us to know that He created us in a way we like and that He is sad that we don’t. 

What are you fighting within yourself?  What are you fighting yourself about, and is it worth the effort?  Are you being your own worst enemy, or are you being a true friend to yourself?  About what do you constantly argue with yourself?  What are you fighting for, and what are you trying to achieve?  Are you fighting for yourself or against yourself?  What do you talk yourself into and out of?  What are you willing to fight for yourself to achieve?  Don’t die for a feeling.  Don’t give up over a feeling.

Finally, Cinthia discussed an article by Cindy Rooy (Times News.net/living/faith/has-god-given-you-a-limp) and asked, “What is the limp that God has given you?”  Jacob, notes Rooy, was self-sufficient and independent, but this wasn’t what God wanted for him.  Finally, God wrestled (or sent an angel to wrestle) Jacob through the night, finally leaving him with a limp that remained for the rest of his earthly life.  After that, Jacob stopped scheming to obtain God’s blessings and learned to trust and depend on Him.

God will wrestle with us to break our will so He can bless us in our brokenness.  This is because He loves us.  We were never meant to live in our own strength, independent of Him, and we destroy ourselves and miss out on the life we were meant to live when we try.  Don’t judge your need for Him.  Don’t feel badly that you can’t do it without Him.  Think of how we feel about children and pets who need our help.  God wants us to rely on Him in our need and learn to trust Him.  Consider Paul’s “thorn in the flesh” (II Corinthians 12:7-10).  We submit to God most consistently out of our need. 

God disciplines His children because He loves us.  Similarly, when we learn to care about ourselves, we learn to discipline ourselves.  We only discipline ourselves if we care enough about ourselves.  It is not ok to care so little about ourselves that we don’t discipline ourselves toward what is good for us. 

Who do you trust, and who trusts you?  Jesus is the Good Shepherd.  He wants you to know His voice and follow Him.  He does not want to give you a debilitating limp before you submit.  He wants you to trust Him.  His plan for you is specific, and He wants you to walk it out the way He intends, which will ultimately result in your highest fulfillment, though not necessarily all your best feelings right now.

God is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or think (Ephesians 3:20).  Trust Him.

Easter Twilights

When Did Good Judgment and Critical Thinking Skills Go Out of Style?

How much critical thinking really takes place in our society these days?  How well does the average person think through a given issue, considering the premises involved and making decisions on the basis of sound reasoning rather than reacting simply out of emotion or unthinking loyalty to a party line?  Our collective struggle to learn, develop, and use this skill has a huge impact on our judgment, which may explain why so many of us struggle to maintain an adult mentality, manage ourselves well, and do what is best for those who depend on us.  Today Cinthia discusses the lost art of thinking critically about a subject and making decisions that actually make sense beyond the rhetoric.  To dive deeper into the message of each podcast, we've created a study guide for each episode. Download your FREE Study Guide here!  https://www.cinthiahiett.com/services-6

Coming Home to Me (Re-aired)

You know that feeling that happens when you arrive home and get ready to go inside?  It can be a wonderful feeling, a terrible one, or lots of things in between the two, depending on what it is like for you to live there.  You also live inside yourself, inside your own body and head.  When your distractions subside and you become more aware of your own internal environment, how do you feel about living inside of you?  Today Cinthia discusses ways you can change your own internal environment, making the inside of your own head a place you don’t have to avoid. To dive deeper into the message of each podcast, we've created a study guide for each episode. Download your FREE Study Guide here!  https://www.cinthiahiett.com/services-6

Sacrifice

The age-old idea of sacrifice involves giving up something that is valuable to us for the sake of something we value even more.  Today Cinthia discusses the idea of looking past those things to which we cling and seeing what they actually cost us.  Based on material from one of her earlier books, Cinthia asks the question, “What has to die in order for you to truly live?”  What are you holding onto, and what is it choking out?  What do you need to let "die" in order to see new life begin?  To dive deeper into the message of each podcast, we've created a study guide for each episode. Download your FREE Study Guide here!  https://www.cinthiahiett.com/services-6

Practice Makes Perfect, Right?

We know how practice works regarding an instrument, language, sport, or job skill: the little moments and long hours add up to create change that could never have happened without all the practice.  But sometimes we forget that our other daily habits, big and small, are also practices, and those small repetitions add up to make the stuff of our lives.  What habits of heart, mind, and body are you practicing, and what do you want to practice?  Are the things you are doing today the things you want to shape your life and the lives of those around you?  Join Cinthia to discuss practicing the things you truly want to perfect.  To dive deeper into the message of each podcast, we've created a study guide for each episode. Download your FREE Study Guide here!  https://www.cinthiahiett.com/services-6

Good Mental Hygiene and the Rich Caveman

Lots of people are pretty consistent about brushing their teeth because they know good dental hygiene is vital for improving and maintaining oral health.  But many of us don’t know how to take care of our minds and emotions, a significant concern when we consider that mental health disorders are on the rise in our society.  While lots of factors can impact mental health, good mental hygiene is something we can personally use to protect ourselves, care for ourselves, and contribute as effectively as possible to the world.  Join Cinthia to discuss what it means to take care of the minds in which we live.  To dive deeper into the message of each podcast, we've created a study guide for each episode. Download your FREE Study Guide here!  https://www.cinthiahiett.com/services-6

Appropriate Competition, Part 2

Recently, we started talking about healthy competition, but there is so much more to say about it!  Competition can be fun and may challenge us to strive for excellence, but it can also become a dumping ground for perfectionism, selfishness, relational aggression, arrogance, inferiority, and a general lack of contentment and fulfillment.  Today Cinthia reviews some of the concepts she introduced last week and then moves into challenging our mindsets at a deeper level so we can compete in a healthy way and celebrate success – both our own and that of others! To dive deeper into the message of each podcast, we've created a study guide for each episode. Download your FREE Study Guide here!  https://www.cinthiahiett.com/services-6

Coming Home to Me

You know that feeling that happens when you arrive home and get ready to go inside?  It can be a wonderful feeling, a terrible one, or lots of things in between the two, depending on what it is like for you to live there.  You also live inside yourself, inside your own body and head.  When your distractions subside and you become more aware of your own internal environment, how do you feel about living inside of you?  Today Cinthia discusses ways you can change your own internal environment, making the inside of your own head a place you don’t have to avoid. To dive deeper into the message of each podcast, we've created a study guide for each episode. Download your FREE Study Guide here!  https://www.cinthiahiett.com/services-6

Appropriate Competition

Competition is everywhere, from the football field to the freeway, from the playground to that phone call with family last week.  When does friendly competition become threatening?  Why do some people treat everything as a competition?  And how can we compete appropriately without losing our joy to our own inner comparisons with others?  Join Cinthia to discuss competing in order to improve ourselves, rather than to destroy others or fulfill an inner longing that winning cannot touch.  To dive deeper into the message of each podcast, we've created a study guide for each episode. Download your FREE Study Guide here!  https://www.cinthiahiett.com/services-6